35

She who is centered in the way can go where she wishes, without any danger. She perceives the universal harmony, even amid great pain, because she has found peace in her heart.

I can feel the moments pass through me today. Quick whips of sadness lick my center and then are gone. It's a satisfying kind of feeling, knowing I can let these things go. I am not alone... I feel you here with me. For that I am grateful. I have only a few hours left til departure and I am satisfied with the present. Today in Denton, tomorrow New York, the next Barcelona. All these things will pass and I will still be here breathing, feeling, thinking. Molding myself into what I will become, patiently. It is easier to be alone than to be with someone and feel oh so lonely. With this I am satisfied because I feel it is real.

Chester the cat is getting huge and he , like most young men, has become a budding prick. It's funny to watch him get into all sorts of trouble and terrorize my friend Micheal's house today. It reminds me of all the mistakes I've made, being so young and so reckless. Denton is more beautiful today than I have seen it in a long time. What a wonderful parting gift. My entire apartment is empty except for those two suitcases I am taking and the Chrome bag my mother gave me for Christmas. Some days I crave conversations with my mother, like I crave alcohol, or empty relationships. Masohistic dilemma. I've begun to enjoy the suffering in not indulging those measures of instant gratification. Switch addict. Satiate. Full. Fully-empty. I feel my ears growing, my hair graying, my teeth rotting and it reminds me to smile. My skin is stretching in waves. I cannot escape that feeling. So I sit here now. In it. Calm. I'll see you on the other side.