Thereveda Tourism

"We are all brothers and sisters on an amazing journey
through a constantly changing universe.
Sometimes we feel pain. Sometimes we are happy...

We are our own masters.
We create our own fate, our own heaven and our own hell.
We create by the use of our intention and free will.

Our human mind is always creating. Our mental environment is our own responsibility...

May we all meet again
free from suffering
and laugh together at the past."

Ines gave me a small book called Karma for Today's Traveler. It's a very short and eloquent book by a Thereveda Buddhist that nearly had me converted by the end. It broke down the concept of Karma very literally. It shows the reader where Karma comes from and how you can set in motion events before you are even born. I thought this a bit unfair at first, but after finishing the book I do not think I would contest that anything is unfair. I feel content with anything and everything. The lingering taste of meloncholy is still drifting in my cloud today. My attachment to it, however, is waning. Yesterday I heard someone talking about their lack of expectations and how it felt strangely like apathy, but it surely is not. They felt, and I too agree, that a lack of expectations is a desired state of mind and a blessing if you can achieve to arrive at this place. I wish I had more to do here sometimes. I struggle with this feeling of laziness. I get up, I take walks, I read books, I meditate, I shower I email friends, I work on new ideas to teach Estrella, I collect flowers. I try to stay busy. Maybe it is that I am doing these things alone that feels out of place. Maybe the fact that no one is watching me do these things makes me question whether or not I am even doing them. Maybe I am not as well adjusted to solitude as I thought. I know it is something I generally want, but maybe I'm still not used to it. Strange, that we can want something so badly, receive it and then be unprepared to handle it. Selfishness. Surely.

I don't really have anything else to say.

"The more she heard the less she spoke, the less she spoke the more she heard, Why can't we all be like that wise old bird?"

Subterranean Homesick Alien Blues

I'm back. Sorry I haven't updated for a while. It's hard to share everything that is going here for me because this isn't a big sightseeing trip and most of the wonderful moments I am having are very personal and therefore difficult to share. Conversations with strangers, my host mother and an old friend are journal worthy, but not public blog worth. ¿Entiendes?

Germany was amazing. I could not have asked for a better time. I hadn't seen my friend Ines in 6 years so it was hard to know what to expect from our time together. The last time we saw each other she came to visit me in California and I was not in the best of places. I had told her via email that I was sober and that my life had changed dramatically from the last time I had seen her. She has traveled a great bit since the last time I saw her and has also experienced many changes. So I think that neither one of us had any idea of what to expect. When I arrived in Berlin and saw Ines waiting for me at the gate I welled up with tears. We were so close in high school and it was really heartwarming to see her face again. It reminded me of how I was when I first lived in Texas: confused and young, but still a better version of the years to come.

I am really tired today and very homesick. I know this sounds strange, but I miss my Peugeot most of all. She is like my best friend. I've made a lot of sober friends here in Madrid which has been amazing. I went out some this weekend for the first time in this city and had a really great time dancing. I keep leaving my camera at home so I haven't very many photos of Madrid, but I promise I will take some more soon. In the mean time here are photos of Germany: